


This is why we can't have nice things

by Tails89



Series: Prompt Warmups [6]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Arguments, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Stiles just wants Derek to touch his butt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:47:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23733334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tails89/pseuds/Tails89
Summary: Derek never liked that ugly old couch anyway.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: Prompt Warmups [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/935589
Comments: 4
Kudos: 177





	This is why we can't have nice things

“This is why we can’t have nice things,” Stiles complains as he lies sprawled amongst the splinters of the couch. He sits up, careful about where he puts his hands as his gets back on his feet. He brushes himself off, taking stock, but it seems his only injury is a bruised tailbone and a hit to his dignity.

“I never liked that couch anyway,” Derek tells him. He stands over the prone body of the werewolf who had thought the Hale alpha would be an easy target. There’s a blood stain blooming across his side from where the wolf had managed to get in one good hit.

“Since when?” Stiles demands. He heads to the kitchen to find the jar of mountain ash he keeps stashed at the back of the panty. He uses it to complete a circle around their unconscious intruder, keeping captive until he wakes and can be interrogated.

“Since you dragged that monstrosity inside.”

With an outraged gasp, Stiles turns, hands on hips. “Why? Because it clashed with the rest of your furniture?”

Derek turns away to tug off his ruined t-shirt.

“Oh, wait. That’s right. You didn’t have any.” Stiles calls after him.

“I had furniture.” The wound in Derek’s side is already healing. He dabs at it with the remains of his shirt before heading to the bathroom to clean off the blood properly.

Stiles replaces the mountain ash on its shelf and follows Derek into the bathroom. He perches on the edge of the bath to watch as Derek runs water over a clean towel.

“You had a mattress on the floor Derek,” he points out. “And a single table, just sitting there in the middle of the room.” He gestures vaguely back towards the living room. “Also, you had no walls because you lived in a warehouse.”

The bloodied towel is thrown into the laundry hamper. “It was open plan.”

“It was a dump.”

Derek pushes past Stiles to get to the bedroom. He rifles around in one of the drawers for a shirt, extracting a plain black tee and pulling it on. It’s a super snug fit. “Why are your clothes in my drawer?” He asks, sighing. “Don’t answer that.” He finds another shirt. “I thought you loved the loft.”

“I do!” Stiles sits on the bed. He can hear the werewolf in their living room beginning to stir. “Now that it has walls that separate the kitchen from the bedroom… and the front door. No one wants to be able to see the front door from their bed Derek. What if someone walked in while we were having sex, huh?”

“You say that like it hasn’t happened before.”

“Exactly, which means I speak from experience.”

The werewolf in the loungeroom is now fully conscious and demanding to be let free.

“Look me in the eye and tell me the loft wasn’t a dump” Stiles demands, arms crossed over his chest. He waits, smug glint in his eye when Derek won’t meet his gaze.

“It had personality.”

Stiles scoffs and smooths down the comforter with one hand. “It had serial killer vibes. It had-”

“Will one of you let me the _fuck_ out of here?”

Stiles and Derek exchange glances and head back to the living room.

“Can you not see we’re in the middle of an argument here?” Stiles asks. “What? Breaking in and trying to kill us wasn’t enough?” He turns to Derek. “What do you want to do with him?”

Derek glowers down at their intruder. “We could send his pack a message. Let them know what happens when you mess with the Hale pack.” He turns to Stiles. “Though honestly he did me a favour destroying that couch. I have half a mind to let him go.”

The beta in the circle shakes his head. “It was an awful couch.”

“Your opinion was neither asked for or appreciated.” Stiles uses his foot to break the mountain ash circle. “Get out of here before Derek changes his mind. You have one hour to make sure you and your pack are off Hale land. If we have to come after you, you’ll get a lot worse than your little bump on the head.”

The werewolf scrambles for the door.

“You know it only takes 20 minutes to get from here to the nearest edge of the territory,” Derek says.

“I know, but my butt hurts.” Stiles whines. “I don’t want to go chasing werewolves right now.” He follows Derek back towards the bedroom. “Ooh, maybe you could rub it better!”

Derek thinks about it for a moment. "Yeah, okay."

“You know if it wasn’t for me you would still have no furniture.” Stiles smirks. “And you would have to rub my butt in the lounge room.” He cackles as Derek drags him into the bedroom. “For all the world to see.”

**Author's Note:**

> [I am on Tumblr](https://tails89.tumblr.com/)


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